Love and Lust

I noticed an empty juice bottle that was holding a bunch of wild flowers. Wasting time, I started reading the backside of the bottle.

The headline on the back  read: Shake Well, Settling is Natural.

Settling is natural, and unfortunately more prominant than Cinderella or Snow White would like to see. Aren’t we trained early on that we are a princess and that we need only wait for our Prince Charming to come and sweep us off our feet?

However, it seems that as we age this fairy tale alters itself a bit. At our younger naïve age, the Prince has the kingdom at his feet. In reality- we’re lucky if our Prince has a job. But in search of our modern prince are we becoming picky or desperate?

Dopamine is a pleasure chemical that is released in the brain. It fluds the brain during sex. Cocaine use and thrilling adrenaline rush activities also produce dopamine. So why do we find so many women sulking about being alone? Why can’t they simply go for a bungee jump and get the same rush?

Well in reality, we know that this is not the same. Because there is something different between the rush of lust and the deeper feeling of love…isn’t there?

A place in the brain called the codid nucleus blends with dopamine and produces sensations. However, this blending only occurs when the person is committing to acheiveing a certain goal, such as love. Therefore, there is a physical difference between lust and love that occurs in the body.

Although humans have gone with the flow of evolution, in this area it appears that we are fighting it. The broad shouldered aggressive hunter who was once attractive, has evolved to the financial provider. And while we are programmed to seek out the most attractive mate we can find, landing that person is not as easy.

So then, for the sake of the species we can’t just give up. We then find someone that we could potentially mate with and are somewhat attractive to and that is close to how attractive we are. Rarely does a 10 mate with a 2.

Today we settle for the sake of not being alone, after all- it’s natural, right?

Which Aisle are the Blow-up Boyfriends?

I got a call around 10pm the other night. It was from a number I didn’t know so I didn’t answer it. Then the number called again- I figured it must be someone I knew so I answered it. A groggy voice asked for Laura.

"You have the wrong number," I politely said and hung up.

A few minutes later the number called again. I answered it and this time the man said, “Hi Shannon?”

"Yes?" 

"This is Mike from the other night."

 Oh shit! First of all where was I the other night, who is this Mike character and how did he get my number?

"Ummm…"

"From Matties, you gave me your number."

Flash forward two weeks earlier. 

A friend of mine and I went to a local bar to grab a couple drinks. Hindsight makes us believe that we were drugged because the amount we had to drink does not account for the lack of memory and stupid things we did that night.

I do remember that a male friend of mine thought it would be funny to try to set me up with “sketchy old guy.” Sidenote: I think I need better friends. So he kept trying to get me and this guy to talk. The guy handed me his business card and my gut reaction made me tell him that that is NOT the way to pick up a girl. He should put forth the effort to get the girl’s number. This was all in good fun and I thought I made it apparent that there was no connection between the two of us.

But karma came around and I got a call.

Sadly, I couldn’t tell if he was drunk or just slow on the phone. He was slightly slurry and incoherent. However, because of my complete lack of being able to be direct and slightly harsh with people, we proceeded to have a 20 minute conversation. To get out of it I made up a fake meeting in the morning and also a fake boyfriend.

Any more fake boyfriends and I’m going to seem like a slut.